Week 12: in which Sleuth is assaulted by chairs
SLEUTH OVERTHEMING OF THIS WEEK, NEXT WEEK AND ALL WEEKS
Sleuth is amused by themes. Manchester now has a champion of themes, the Ibis Styles Hotel on Portland Street. This was formerly the Portland Thistle Hotel which had been themed on general grottiness. Now though, the hotel has been flooded with a theme of rain because that is Manchester of course. There is a cloud above the reception desk and the main door handles are wellies. Umbrellas festoon the lobby and the bedside tables are clouds propped on more umbrellas. Sleuth can only applaud the Ibis Styles’ excess and despite this article here will not attempt to rain on their parade.
BEE IN OUR BONNETS
Speaking of themes, the city of Manchester has its own monomania. Bees are buzzing everywhere. If they’re in peril in the wild then they can never go extinct in this city. Only this week massive new plant holders are being spread through the streets emblazoned with vast bees. Surely, as one reader suggests, we need to get Kew Gardens’ The Hive up here on permanent display. It’s only a matter of time before either City or United adopt a black and yellow away kit. The prize for taking Manchester bee love to the extreme goes to Mark Eaton who displays his affection for his home city while exiled in Italy with a fine bee tattoo on his leg.
SLEUTH’S POINTLESS SIGN OF THE WEEK GOES TO NHS STOCKPORT
Chair legs. Bastards.
SLEUTH’S POINTLESS SIGN OF THE WEEK PART TWO (The same one, see picture above)
Sleuth loves his signs to be patient. He hates them to be hasty.
SLEUTH’S MAN IN A HOLE PICTURE OF THE WEEK
This accolade goes to occasional Confidential writer Neil Sowerby (grey haired man in the middle) at the Too Many Critics event at Iberica this week for Action against Hunger. The event raised £20,437 but seemed to have put Mr Sowerby into a deep hole.
SLEUTH’S STARTLED PICTURE OF THE WEEK
Winner of the Too Many Critics event Emily Heward of the MEN is surprised by a massive plate of patatas bravas. Meanwhile, Gordo of Manchester Confidential explains to Bill Knott, the aptly monikered, Financial Times man, how the dish is even bigger than his hand.
SLEUTH’S STRANGE PICTURE OF THE WEEK
Sleuth was sent this picture from Levenshulme and told it was funny. He was told that two signs such as these should never be put next to each other. Really? Sleuth can see nothing funny about this picture at all, can you?
SLEUTH’S STRANGE TRIBUTE OF THE WEEK
Poet Michael Symmons Roberts has broadcast a tribute to, of all things, the Intu Trafford Centre, click here. He calls it ‘a temple, a cathedral’ and compares it to another poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s, ‘stately pleasure dome of Xanadu’. Others aren’t sure. In the same piece one of Confidential’s favourite architects, Roger Stephenson, says, “It’s not architecture, it’s a collection of large boxes dressed up with bits and pieces of different styles.” Sleuth tends to agree, but worries more about how the building has hit traditional town centres in the region. His favourite description of the crazy decoration comes from Confidential’s Jonathan Schofield. He wrote in 2007: ‘The staircase of ‘The Great Hall’ is a mix of brown and white marble, incorporating statues of women holding lamps. These women are completely free of normal musculature. They look as though they were carved by an extraterrestrial from a brief description of Jade Goody given over a bad telephone line by a blind man on crack.’